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That nutty squirrrel

Hey, that gosh darn flicker didn't bang his pointy beak on the Armstrongs' round satellllite antennna at the crack of dawn this morning.  i wonder why? 

i got to thinking ... if the Armstrongs have a booook about birds, maybe they also have a booook about squirrrels.  if they did, maybe it would be able to telll me why the squirrrel who lives in the Armstrongs' maple treee is so, welll, dafffy.  Turns out, there was a boook about animals right in Rachl's boookcase -- on the second to botttom shelf.  Who knew?  i pullled the book out from the shelf (which wasn't that easy) and flippped through the pages until i found a picture of a squirrrel that looooked like that nuttty squirrrel.

Here's what i was able to find out about the squirrrel.  He's a grey squirrrel.  The grey squirrel is the only tree squirrel with a long busy tail ... he lives in hard woood forests, city parks, and suburbia (like New Kanaaan, Konnecticut) ... his voice is a harsh quak-quak-quak-aaaaaa and a scolding chirrrr ... he's most active early in the mornin and late in the afternoon. 

i was expectin the boook to also say that the grey squirrrel is an animal with a very scrambled brain who thinks other creatures are criminals and tends to confuse cages with jails, but it didn't.  

Break out!

That nutty squirrrel who thinks my cage is a jail showed up this mornin while i was in my cage.  He appeared out on the rooof of the Armstrongs' house, on the other side of Rachl's bedrooom window.  His grey squirrel head suddenly poppped up in the window.  i was so startled to seee him, i practically leaped up out of my fur.  He peered in at me and i peered out at him. 

"So, i see they've got you back in jail," he said, through the litttle opening at the bottom of the window.  (it was so hot in the house last night, Rachl had left her window open a crack.)

i was about to tell him that i live in a cage, not a jail, but then i decided to have a litttle fun instead.

"Oh, good!" i said, "You got here just in time!"

 "i did?" said the squirrel, starin at me and lookin very puzzzled.  "Just in time?  Just in time for what?"

 "Just in time to help me bust out of my jail," i replied.  "i neeed you to be my look-out."

The squirrel looked horrified.  "Your look-out?" he cried.  "Oh, no, i can't do that!  i can't help a criminal escape from her jail!"

But i paid no attention.  i went over and put my 2 front paws on the bars of my square cage door. i loooked over my shoulder at the squirrel and said, "Okay, i want you to keep an eye out and let me know if you seee anyone coming."

The squirrel's mouth droppped open and his eyes widened in horrror.  As i went to push open the cage door, the squirrel let out a loud shriek.  Terrrified that he was about to become an acccomplice to my break out, he darted offf.

That nutty, nutty squirrel!

Wouldn't you know know it?  That wacky squirrel came to Rachl's bedrooom window this mornin.  if i had had Rachl's kamera, i could've taken a fantastic photo of him.  But i didn't have it.  i still can't find that darn kamera.  i have no idea where Rachl could've put it. 

when the squirrel came to the window, i was on Rachl's bedrooom floor, lookin under a pair of jeans that Rachl had dropped on her floor this mornin, hopin i might find the kamera.  (i knew the kamera couldn't possibly be there since it wasn't on her floor yesterday or the day before that or any other day, but, hey, i was desperate -- i was lookin everywhere, even places where i knew it couldn't be.) 

The squirrel's eyes widened and his mouth dropped open when he saw me. i could just guess what was goin through his nutty brain.  i'm sure he saw me pokin around Rachl's jeans and thought i was lookin to see if there was anything in her pockets that i could steal.  That squirrel is convinced i'm a criminal because i live in a cage.

"i'm not tryin to steal anything!" I cried out to the squirrrel, even though i knew he probably couldn't hear me because the bedrooom window was closed.  "i'm just looking for Rachl's kamera." 

And then somethin occurred to me.  i wondered if maybe the squirrel knew where Rachl's kamera was.  After all, he's always lookin in through the Armstrongs' windows.  Maybe he saw Rachl put it down somewhere.

I started toward the squirrel to ask him if he'd seen the kamera, but the moment I took a step in his direction an even more terrified look came across his face.  And then I realized why:  he thought i was comin after him because i had caught him catching me goin through Rachl's jeans.  That wacky squirrel must've thought I was coming after him because he was a witness.

With a loud shriek of alarm, the squirrel spun about and vanished from the window.

Mad at myself

i'm so mad at myself.  i had a fantastic photo that i could've taken, but i missed it because i wasn't quick enough! 

It was a photo of that nutty squirrel.  He popped up in Rachl's bedrooom window while I was on the flooor, fiddlin with Rachl's kamera.  Welll, you know how wacky that squirrel is.  He saw me with the kamera and immediately thought I was tryin to steal it.  His mouth dropped open in shock and his eyes bugged way out.  When i saw the stunned loook on his face, i said to myself, "Wow!  What a great photo that would make!"

But when i went to take his picture, the squirrel had vanished.  All I was able to get was this photo of the window where he was just seconds ago. 

 

i can't help feelin sorry for that squirrel

Although the squirrel who lives in the maple tree that's out in the Armstrongs' front yard drives me crazy because he thinks i'm a criminal, I can't help feelin a litttle sorry for him. 

The thing is, nobody seeems to like him much.  From Rachls bedroom window, I have a perfect view of the bird feeder that hangs outside the Armstrongs' kitchen window.  The squirrel likes to climb up onto the bird feeder and eat the bird seed that's in the bird feeder.  i can tell by the angry looks he gets from the birds that they don't like him eating at their bird feeder.  The Armstrongs put out the bird seed for them, not him!  Yet, I know what it's like to be hungry.   I know how it can make your stomach feel all empty inside so it makes all these weird growling noises.  I remember that time the Armstrongs went on vacation and Craig's friend Tad, who was feeding all the other Armstrong pets, wasn't feeding me!  i was willin to do anything to get fed.  So i can understand why that squirrel comes to the bird feeder, even though he's not a bird.  He's hungry, too!  And it's winter, don't forget!  It's cold out there and there aren't a lot of nuts on the snowy ground!

i can also tell mr. and mrs. Armstrong don't like the squirrel feedin at the bird feeder, either.  I'll hear them downstairs bang on the kitchen window to try and frighten him away.  And during the day mrs. Armstrong has taken to dashing out of the house, clapping her hands, and shouting at the squirrel when she sees him at the bird feeder. 

"Hey!  Hey!  Hey!" she'll yell at him, with a fierce look on her face. 

The squirrel, terrified, leaps from the bird feeder and scampers off across the lawn, his fluffy tail twitching like crazy.

To be perfectly honest, i'd probably do the exact same thing if a human woman came running out of the house at me with a fierce loook on her face, clapping her hands, and yelling, "Hey!  Hey!  Hey!"

Wouldn't you?

That nutty squirrel

Rachl keeps playin this one song over and over again.  She plays it on her ipod, which is plugged into her ihome.  the song is called "Chasing Pavements".  It's by someone named Adele.  Rachl plays the song so much, I can't get the tune out of my head.  it's become my favorite song!

i wanted to hear the song so badly this mornin, i did somethin i normally never would've done.  i tried to listen to her song on her ipod.  (Rachl keeps her ipod and ihome on her desk, by her computr.)  I was trying to figure out how to play the thing when, out the corner of my eye, i caught a glimpse of gray fur outside Rachl's bedrooom window.

it was the grey squirrrel that lives in the maple tree out in the Armstrongs' front yard.  He was out on the roof.  The moment I glanced up, the squirrel's eyes widened in terror and his mouth droppped open.  I guess he was scared because i had caught him lookin at me while I was trying to figure out how to play Rachl's ipod.  he must've thought i was trying to steal it. 

I quickly shook my head and mouthed the words, "It's not what it looks like!"  (I mouthed the words because he was on the other side of the window.) That nutty squirrel was so scared, though, he ran off! 

I rollled my eyes, sighed, and returned to my cage.

Squirrels

what is it with squirrels, anyway?

Are they all nuts?

the squirrel who lives in the maple treee out on the Armstrongs front lawn certainly is a strange creature.  Do you know what he did yestrday?  I mean, in addishun to scarin the livin daylights out of me again, for the second day in a row?  Well, I was typin on the computer when, behind me, I heard someone cry out:

"Ah-ha! Caught you!"

It was that nutty squirrel.  He was in Rachl's bedrooom window.  He was out on the rooof, pointin his left front paw at me in an accusatory way.  I knew what he was thinkin.  He was thinkin i was breakin into Rachl's computer.  That wacky squirrel thinks because I live in a cage, i'm a criminal.

"It's not what it looks like!" I said.

"i know what I see!" he said.  "You've busted out of jail again!"

"How many times do I have to tell you?" I said.  "I'm not in jail!"

I could tell by the skeptical look on the squirrel's face that he didnt believe me.

"Look," I said.  "just because i live in a cage, it doesn't mean I'm in jail."

He stared at me in curious way.  "What are you doin?" he asked.  Then, lookin very alarmed, he cried out, "Oh, no!  you're stealin secrets from the Armstrong girls computer, aren't you!?"

"No!" I said.  "that's not what I'm doin!  I'm just typin!"

"I've got to warn the Armstrongs!" exxclaimed the squirrel.  He began to make a very loud screachin sound.  He kept shriekin and shriekin, like a smoke detector that smells smoke.  It went on and on!

horrified, I jumped down from the computer keyboard, ran acrosss the floor to Rachl's dresser, and climbd up the lamp cord that hangs over the side of the dresser. When I got to the top of the dresser, I raced over to my cage and hurtled myself into the open cage door.  as I flew through the air, i shut the cage door with the end of my tail.

Mrs. Armstrong was downstairs at the time.  She heard the squirrel shriekin.  I heard her hurrry up the stairs.  She came into Rachl's bedroom and saw the squirrel in the window.  She went over to the window and slammmed it closed -- right in the squirrel's startled face.

well, that sure shut him up! 

OMG!

OMG!  you wouldn't believe what happened to me yestrday!

I was at Rachl's computer, typin away, when I heard a loud, startld gasp!  i looked up, expectin to see one of the cats in Rachl's doorway.  But no cat was there!  no creature was there!  No, the gasp came not from the doorway, but from behind me!

I whirled about and there, in Rachel's window, was the grey squirrel that lives in the branches of the maple tree thats in the Armstrongs front yard.  He was outside on the roof, lookin in through the screen at me.  I let out a loud, frightened shriek and took off and ran back to my cage.  he let out a loud, frightend shriek and ran off down the roof. 

i used to think he was a brave Jedi knight of a squirrel, because hes always racing across telephone wires and jumpin from treee branch to tree branch, but I don't think that anymore.  I think he's---