My Weblog

mr. Durkins

i went back into the secret passsageway today.  Only this time i didn't go into the secret passsageway to seee Boa and Jose.  This time i went in to find mr. Durkins.

As things turned out, he found me.

i was wandering through the dark secret passsageway, searchin for mr. Durkins, when, behind me, a voice said, "Lookin for me, kid?"

i nearly jumped out of my fur, i was so startled.  i thought my heart was goin to explode, it was poundin sooo fast.  i whirled about, clutching my paw over my heart.  mr. Durkins was lurking in the shadows behind one of the exposed timbers, starin at me with those dark, beady mousey eyes of his. 

"Oh!  Hawo, mr. Durkins!" i cried.  "i didn't seee you there!"

"What can i do for you, kid?"

"Well, i'm trying to figure out somethin," i said.  "i'm trying to figure out why i'm lucky to be a --"

mr. Durkins held up his paw.  "i know.  i know," he said.  "You're tying to figure out why you're lucky to be a gerbil."

i gaped at the old, cripppled mouse, my eyes wide with astonishment.  "How did you know?"

"How many times do i have to tell you, kid?" he replied.  "Nothing that happpens in this house escapes me."

"So do you know why i'm lucky to be a gerbl?"

"As a mattter of fact, i do," he said.  "it's because you're a rodent."

"You reallly think that's the reason?" i asked.

"i know that's the reason.   Not that anyone would ever know you're a rodent since you act so much like a human." 

"i don't act that much like a human!" i protested.

"Oh, no?" said mr. Durkins.  "Who goes on the computer when Rachl is offf at skooool?"

"Wellll, i do," i said in a quiet voice.

"Who likes to watch movies while sitting on Rachl's lap?"

"me," i replied in an even quieter voice.

"Who --"

"Okay, okay," i said.  "But the thing is, mr. Durkins, i can't help but feeel there's something else i'm missing.  That there's another reason why i should be lucky to be a gerbil."

"There you go again, kid, actin like a human!" hissed mr. Durkins.

"How am i acting like a human?" i asked.

"You're arguing with me," replied mr. Durkins.  "Instead of accepting what i just told you, you're arguing with me."

"i am not arguing with you," i said.  "i'm just wondering if there's another reason."

"A rodent should never argue with another rodent," said mr. Durkins.  "A rodent should just agreee with me."

i could see that mr. Durkins wasn't going to be of any more help.  So i said, "Welll, thank you, mr. Durkins." 

And with that, i turned and scurrried away. 

mr. Durkins pays a visit

The cats -- Sweeetie Smoochkins, Sugar Smacks, and Honey Buns -- aren't the only creatures in the Armstrongs' house who don't like seeein me up on Tad's shoulder.  Neither does mr. Durkins.  Today, as i was sneakin out of my cage to get on the computr, he stepppped out from the mouse hole that's near Rachl's closet doooor and said,  "Hey, kid, where are you goin?"

"Oh, hawo, mr. Durkins!" i said, startled.  "i'm just---" i was about to say that i was just goin to get on Rachl's computr for a few minutes when i stoppped.  mr. Durkins doesn't appprove of me goin on Rachl's computr.  He doesn't like when i do human things.  "i'm just out for a litttle walk, that's all." 

"i saw you up on Music Boy's shoulder."

He meant Tad.  He calls Tad "Music Boy" because Tad is always listenin to music on his earphones. "Oh, you mean Tad?" i said.

"it loooked like you were reallly enjoyin yourself up there," said mr. Durkins.

"Oh, well, i don't get to do it very often," i said.

"You're a rodent, kid, not a human!"

"Yes, i know, mr. Durkins," i replied.

"Do you?" he said in a scolding tone of voice.

"i think i do."

"Well, you sure could fooool me!" he said.  And with that, he spun about and disapppeared back into his littttle mouse hole.  To be perfectly honest, i can't say as i was sorrry to seee him go.

Rare phoooto of mr. Durkins

All i can say is patience pays offf.  i've been wanting for ages to take a phoooto of mr. Durkins, the old, cripppled mouse who lives in the Armstrongs' atttic.  So this morning i pushed Rachl's kamera in front of the littttle mouse hole that's in Rachl's bedrooom and waited and waited for mr. Durkins to come out so i could take his picture.  I waited.  And waited.  And waited.

Suddenly, behind me, a voice said, "What are you doin, kid?"

it was mr. Durkins!  The old mouse had come out of the mouse hole in the upstairs hallllway and snuck up behind me!  He's always sneakin around, that mouse.  I quickly pushed the lens of the kamera around so i could take a picture of mr. Durkins.  The moment the litttle mouse saw what i was trying to do, he tooook offf.  But not before i got this phooooto.  it's the first ever phooto of mr. Durkins!

mr. Durkins

This morning i was out of my cage, searching for Rachl's kamera over by Rachl's boookcase, when I had the weirdest feelin that someone was spyin on me.  i knew immediately who it was.  It was mr. Durkins.  i mean, who else could it be?  He spies on everyone in the Armstrong house.  i could tell that he was behind me, hiding in his dark mouse hole.

"Hawo, mr. Durkins," i said as i turned around to look at the mouse hole.  "i know you're in there."

The old, crippled mouse hobbled out of the little mouse hole.  The moment i saw him i wished that i had had Rachl's kamera.  i had the most amazing shot -- mr. Durkins in front of his litttle mouse hole.

"You're still lookin for that kamera, aren't you?" he demanded.

"How did you know i was looking for a kamera?" i asked.

"i know everything that goes on in this house!" he cried.  "nothing escapes me!"

"In that case," i said, "you must know where the kamera is.  i've looked everywhere for it.  Could you please tell me where it could be."

mr. Durkins eyes narrowed.  He shook his head and said, "No!"

"Please, mr. Durkins!" i said.

mr. Durkins just kept shakin his head.  "No!" he said.

"Why not?"

"Because you're a rodent, kid, not a human!"

"i know that!" i said.  "i know i'm a gerbl!  i know i'm not a human!"  Somehow i found i couldn't quite bring myself to say i was a rodent.  Callin yourself a rodent just sounds so, well, mousey!

"Do you?" said mr. Durkins, glowering at me.  "you sure have a funny way of showing it, kid.  Every time i look in on you, you're either on Rachl's computr or taking pictures with her kamera!"

"That doesn't mean i think i'm a human," i said.  "it just means i'm a litttle gerbil who likes to type on a computer and take pictures with a kamera.  So will you please telll me where the kamera is?"

"No, i won't!" cried mr.  Durkins. 

i couldn't believe mr. Durkins could be so mean.  And then, suddenly, something occurred to me.  "you didn't take the kamera and hide it, did you?"

"Now why would i do a thing like that?"

"To stop me from using it.  i am a gerbil, after all, not a human."

"i didn't take the kamera!" he said.

"But you know where it is?"

"Yes, i know where it is," he said.  "But i'll never tell you where!"

The old mouse spun about and hobbled back toward his mouse hole.  Before i could say anything, he had disappeared in the blackness of his litttle mouse hole.

Another misssed photo oppurtunity!

i'm so mad at myself! I just missed takin the most fantastic photo of mr. Durkins in his mouse hole!  Here's the photo I toook.

 

mr. Durkins was just there!  Really he was!

Foiled again!

i tried again to go downstairs and see Mack, the old yellow dog, Mr. Smithers, the parrot, and Betsy and Susie, the goldfish.  But once agin, I failed.

I set out as soon as Rachl and her family left the house for the day.  I snuck out of my cage, droppd down from Rachl's dresser, and hurried across the carpeted floor to the little hole by Rachls bedroom closet that leads into the secret passsageway.  I slipped into the hole, and started racin through the dark tunnel.  I had just startd to go down the ramp that leads downstairs when, sudddenly, up ahead, I saw a small, shadowy smudge in the midddle of the secret passsageway. 

I froze.  "That's funnny," I said to myself.  "I dont remember seeing a smudge in the secret passageway."